Tag Archives: magically delicious super slut

Public Kink

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Hook Suspension

Hook Suspension

Lately I’ve been wondering about how public people make their kink, and what they are really worried about.

First, I should give you background. I have managed to work at a dungeon without feeling the need to tell people about it. My other job during the same time was at a bar, and I kept the two very separate.  Had I told the conservative folks at the dive bar about my other job, they would have lost their shit.

So I think what I am trying to say is; I am good at keeping quiet around people who are vanilla. Sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes I want to scream from the rooftops: “I just went to the BEST fetish party!” Yet I manage to avoid talking about kink to co-workers, friends, and all the other people I interacted with.

Yes, it feels like a lie sometimes. I often wish it were like being gay, where I could say “this is just how I am and you should accept it!” But it’s not like being gay. (I hate when people make that comparison.) Gay people want the right to get married, and to kiss in public without anyone getting angry. Straight couples into BDSM can get married and kiss in the streets. Kink is really only something to be enjoyed in private or semi-public spaces. It doesn’t need to happen outside dungeons and clubs and house parties. There is really no reason to flog a submissive in the streets for the same reason you shouldn’t have sex in the street. It’s a sex act and those should be private. Therefore, you can’t really say others should have to accept it.

Of course there’s also the fact that, if you tell others, it could damage your career or relationships with vanilla people.

So I keep my kink to myself most of the time. Even at play parties I let others take the lead whenever I can, and I sit back and watch. I feel like kinky people can often think their way is the only way, so I generally avoid giving demos or teaching because I don’t want someone to say “Oh I do it this way and it’s much better.” That always annoys me.

An example is flogging. I really enjoy flogging, but I don’t like to do the approved figure-eight motion. You can’t hit as hard when you do that. I mostly play with submissives that like pain, and I like inflicting pain. I want to pull the tails back and snap them as hard as I can! I want to put all my weight into it and really raise welts! But that’s not the “approved notion” about how to flog someone and I have been criticized for it before.

And I do realize I came from a very extreme scene. When I was growing up, the kids I played with thought nothing of sticking meat hooks into their backs and being hung from the ceiling. I know other scenes are much more conservative, and of course, everyone has their rules.

So in general, if I am forced to present at all or give my opinion, I try to remind people that it’s just how I do things, and I am not trying to be bossy or tell others what to do. I am NOT one of those people that will harass you about protocol. I don’t care who hits on who, what paperwork you want to do or choose not to do, or how you want to play. Do your thing, people. Do your thing.

I consider myself softly spoken and I try to tone my personality down as much as I can. I know I am too high-energy for some people and certainly for some dungeons.

Make no mistake though- because I really can’t let you get this wrong: I am not ashamed of being kinky and I will not act ashamed!

So this is where the question of how “out” to be comes in.

I am open about my kink on fetlife.com and I am open about it to other kinky people. I am not secretive and I don’t think people should let paranoia control them.

Korea has spoiled me. They literally don’t give a shit about your personal life here. It’s understood that you might get drunk and throw up and be crazy at night, but that bears no connection at all to how you act at work. An example (which I was horrified about) is when my boss went to my apartment unannounced to look at my broken heater. I had my toys laid out on the dresser because I had cleaned them all before work, and she did not mention them to anyone ever or hold it against me. She had gone to my house and she understood that privacy is important in a personal space- as Koreans do. I love this about Korea. They let your personal life be your own.

Even in the states though- I am out in the scene. I do not hide who I am from other kinksters or make them guess about what I do or don’t do. I am up-front and direct. And I’m fine with curious vanilla people too. They’re pretty harmless and if they’re thinking about it, I’m cool with letting them come walk on the wild side and have a look.

The reason is this: There is never any evidence. We don’t allow photos at play parties without consent. If you took someone’s picture without asking, the entire crowd would flip out because we all know that is not okay. No one would defend you. It is the same at dungeons and fetish proms. You ask before you take a picture, and you do not post anything on the internet without permission.

Therefore, if someone wanted to “out” you, all they would have is words. They would say “So-and-so is into S&M” and you would say “You wish!” and laugh it off. No one takes hearsay seriously.

This is why I am comfortable in the community and do not seem to be concerned about people knowing that I am kinky. When I am at a fetish event, of course I am not concerned! I am with my people. I refuse to act ashamed of myself around my people! I refuse to be uptight and yell at anyone who even has a camera that they’re not using. I am not going to shy away from vanilla folks who turn up to see what it’s all about, nor am I going to yell at others who are making a choice to bring a trusted friend into the fold.

I guess my point is this: Do be careful, because being found out as kinky can still ruin your life. But, don’t be paranoid and harsh on anyone who doesn’t seem ashamed enough of who they are for your taste. I know everyone is “out” to different degrees, but lets not be rude to folks who are new to the community at a munch or a party or a dungeon. Let’s try to help people explore when they are ready, and not push them when they are not. Lets try to be respectful and kind.

New Year’s Resolution

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I have no idea what this penis is trying to tell me, but it looks serious...

I have no idea what this penis is trying to tell me, but it looks serious…

 

First: Happy New Year’s from the Magically Delicious Super Slut!

I really hate New Year’s Resolutions. With that said, I am going to make one anyway.

I started this blog a few months ago because a few people insisted that I should write about my experiences in the community. At the time, I knew nothing at all about blogs and I felt like I had nothing at all to say.

Over time I have become more comfortable with it- though I am still not sure what this blog is really for or what it is about.

Anyway my resolution is to post one entry a week, and for that entry to be posted on Monday. I feel like all the good bloggers choose a day and stick to it, so I will try to do that.

Also, I will try to figure out what this blog is about. I can’t promise anything about that. I imagine I’ll keep writing sexy entries and memories and tips all jumbled together. One step at a time…

On a personal note for those who follow me: I did finally take the virgin and it was fun. I think this is why I am the only one of my friends my age that doesn’t have wrinkles yet. Feeling old? Take one virgin and call me in the morning…

Sex and movies

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The weekend is finally here!

First, I went to Mr. Nice Guy’s house (since I can’t bring anyone home just now with Mr. Knight living there). He’s such a dear! He bought my favorite whiskey to keep at his house, and downloaded my favorite movies. This should make me really happy. I mean, it does! People being nice to me is wonderful.

However, sometimes it’s obvious that someone is being nice because they are desperate for the approval of the people around them. That always makes me feel really icky, like there’s a scuff on my shoe that I’m not sure how to buff off.

Mr. Nice Guy and I talked about sex (finally!) He’s made it clear he’s looking for a Domme. I am mostly given to being a Domme, so it seems at first glace as though this is a brilliant match and we should both be happy. And yet, that’s not how this plays out.

I will try to explain, but I am aware that I might not be able to capture the essence of what I am saying.

So, my ideal submissive is proud. I like them young, smart, and willful. I want them to be cocky and full of themselves and sure that I’m lucky to have them as a pet. This is necessary for me, because then it feels justified when I beat them and abuse them both verbally and physically. I need to feel like there is a dynamic in which my submissive needs the pride beaten out of them, and I am doing the world a favor.

For me, there is nothing worse than a submissive who has no self esteem. It’s awful to beat someone and abuse someone who already hangs their head all the time and feels beaten by the world. It’s like kicking a sick puppy or something.

So of course, Mr. Nice Guy wants to be submissive. He is also someone who is still hung up on his ex-wife, gets walked on like a carpet because he is too nice, and has very little self-esteem. This is all the qualities I can not handle in a submissive. I didn’t have the heart to explain it that way though- because there’s no need to hurt someone who’s already broken. How could I tell him he evoked too much pity in me for me to beat him? That would only make the problem worse!

My solution was to say that I was actually also a submissive looking for a Dom. I looked as cute as I could and asked him if he would try to top me. I’m younger than him by half a decade and cute as hell- if I do say so myself. Maybe abusing me could give him some self-esteem? I didn’t know what else to do.

He wasn’t into it, and the subject was dropped. We watched Finding Nemo (one of my very favorite movies) and drank heavily. Later, he tried to push me up against a wall roughly, but it was so forced that I couldn’t get serious about kissing him back. It felt passionless and fake. We went to bed instead, and I actually slept pretty well on his too-soft bed.

In the morning, I went to go see Mr. Uptight on base. He’s not allowed to have people stay the night, but he can have guests during the day. I am SO very okay with having sex during the day right now, because there hasn’t been enough sex in my life lately. So he met me in front of the base and signed me on. We went back to his barracks while he babbled somewhat awkwardly (as he always does) and I told a few stories here and there.

As soon as we got inside I jumped him. I was all teeth and claws. It had been a little too long since I’d had sex and I’ve been wanting to rape Mr. Knight all week. I needed an outlet. Mr. Uptight squirmed a little and said ouch a bit. He doesn’t really like it rough. I was beyond caring though, because I was in a passionate and primal mood.

He still lays there like a High School girl when we fuck. I will make the excuse for him that he was in a motorcycle accident and he’s needed some surgery here and there on his leg. I know he’s in a lot of pain sometimes and maybe it’s hard for him to be on top. So, I never ask or force the issue. You’d think he could at least moan or something, though. But hey, whatever! I can always use the exercise, I suppose.

Unfortunately, I’m not one of those lucky girls who has a clit close to her vagina, so I can’t cum from having sex. That does make Mr. Uptight’s laziness frustrating because if he never goes down on me, I’m never going to get off when we have sex. It’s still enjoyable though- just to have sex. Penetration may not be my thing, but it still feels good.

I guess you could say that while chocolate ice cream is not my favorite, not everywhere has mango. And since I like chocolate, it’s not terrible to eat it. I’d just prefer mango. You know, if it was around.

I went home while the night was still young, though Mr. Uptight and I had sex several times during the day.

On the couch, waiting for me, was Mr. Knight. We poured drinks and watched the new Sherlock Holmes in an amiable silence, as we have been doing of late. His attempts at painting over the weekend littered the house, and before bed I said I liked them, in an attempt to bolster his self-esteem. I guess I really do hate people who don’t think highly of themselves after all. It must be some kind of hang-up of mine.

When I went upstairs, I made myself a profile on a dating site and sent some messages on a BDSM site. I am bored to tears with my sex life right now. I need a good, strong pet to beat the shit out of. Or at least, I need a fellow switch I can play some good scenes with. I hate when there’s not enough BDSM sex in my life. I feel so deprived and unfulfilled. Times like this really make me miss the dungeon back home. But, I said I was going to make this work, and so I shall. Looks like I’m resorting to online dating. And another weekend comes to a close for the Magically Delicious Super Slut.

So Fetlife.com is a thing

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I feel the need to acknowledge that there is a kinky version of Facebook called Fetlife, and that many kink people meet up there. I did not include the web site on my reading list because of the scandalous stuff going on right now in the Fetlife community. I’m not going to speak on the subject, but I do feel the need to mention it, so consider it mentioned.

That left a bad taste in my mouth, so now for a nice picture of some sexy women:

Yay for naked lady statues at Love Land on the island of Jeju.

Complication Arises

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So a friend is moving in. He split up with his girlfriend and he needs a place to crash. We’re geek pals who share reddit jokes and play D&D together, so I can’t say no. It is going to be awkward though, since my place is a split-level one-bedroom and sound carries all too well.

We shall call this friend Mr. Knight, because he truly wishes he were a knight in shining armor. He wants to be valiant and brave. Oh course the reality is that he’s shy and unlikely to rush to the defense of any fair maidens, but he is a knight in his mind.

This is a good time to explain my policy on sex.

See, I have boundary issues. I’m never really sure where the line between friend and lover is, or why there should be a line. In most cases, I’ll sleep with someone just to see what they are like in bed. It helps me get to know them, and feel closer to them. If there is chemistry; great! If there’s not, then at least I learned something. Unlike most people, I do not find it awkward to be around someone I have slept with, and no one is capable of feeling awkward around me because I am too damn comfortable with myself to let anyone be uncomfortable in my presence.

There are good reasons not to sleep with people though, even for a magically delicious super slut.

The first should be because they are married, right? I’ve been attacked by enough crazy women to know that I should always be careful of the married ones. And yet… if they don’t respect their wedding vows it’s hard for me to do so. I don’t know their wives and for all I know they’re making them up to seem unavailable. As such, the married guy thing is a grey area. It depends on the guy, I guess. Plus, some of them are married but in open relationships, so you can never be too sure what’s what there.

I guess the verdict on married guys is maybe.

Second is more important. This is a hard no. I will never sleep with anyone who is in love with someone else. They can have a crush. They can have a past. They can have a lot of things that don’t make me shy away. Yet, if they are truly in love with someone else, I will never ever sleep with them. This is because I need to feel like the most important person in someone’s life. I do sleep around openly and allow all my partners to do the same, but they always like me best. I am confident that if a man is seeing two women and one of them is me, he likes me better every time. I’m that good. On the other hand, if they’re in love then that’s a whole other thing that I won’t even mess with. One does not compete with hormones and chemicals that have evolved over thousands of years.

So a hard no to being in love with someone else.

Last is the business relationship. Let’s say I meet you and I know we can set shit off together. I know you have social value. Well- then we’re not going to have sex. I won’t risk mixing sex with business because sometimes people can get weird about both, and I like for things in my life to be as simple as possible. It seems that when you add one complicated thing to one other complicated thing, the level of complicated escalates several more orders of magnitude than it logically should- so no business and sex.

Of those reasons why I will never sleep with someone, Mr. Knight falls under the category of “in love with someone else.” He may be on the outs with his girl right now, but there is no question at all about who his heart belongs to. He is hers, and since they are both mostly sweet and innocent and not into MDSM, it’s best to leave them to each other (even if they are unhappy.)

I know I will catch a ration of shit for Mr. Knight living here. I know everyone will assume we are having sex because they know I have boundary issues. I am aware of how much this is going to suck for me, and yet, one does not turn down a fellow geek in need. So now to figure out how to keep all my sexy time confined to everyone else’s house.

Can’t wait to tell the boys about the new edition to my living room…

An Introduction

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I guess I should start by telling you about relative scarcity. Basically all you need to know is that the less of something there is to go around, the more people will want it. I’m not sure I can explain all the Psychology behind it, nor can I probably draw you a map of the market dynamics that economists have studied to create this model. The point is simple: The perceived value of goods is always more when they are less available.

I first learned this after being raped while living on the streets. It was a horrible experience that left me terribly emotionally broken and therefore emotionally unavailable to the people who tried to date me. I was surprised to realize that, the more I pushed someone away, the tighter they held on. At first I thought it was a few fluke relationships, but over time I began to see a pattern. Men liked a woman who didn’t like them back.

That wasn’t enough, of course. I had to take it a step farther. I decided that any guy who had been socialized by modern society would be willing to have a relationship outside the confines of monogamy. After all, men are somewhat instinctively predisposed to have many partners. Add to that the break-down of family in American culture, and the media which shows divorced men happily taking up with younger women and being lovable scamps who aren’t very good at being loyal. I’m not saying I agree with where our culture is at. I’m just saying it is what it is. The examples we see teach us that a life-long partner isn’t a thing any more, and no one ever seems to manage a long relationship without someone cheating.

I figure, why be the woman that clings tightly to a lover and tells them to be loyal? If they are not likely to be that way anyhow, one might as well be the first to declare monogamy pointless. Why not take it further and be the one to refuse to even try?

I suppose you could say that I am missing out on the devotion of a long-term partner who thinks only of me. You’d be right. In my defense though, I did try to have that a few times. I spent a few years with a boy I really loved who I was totally loyal to. When I got sick and it was unsure if I would get better, he left because he couldn’t handle it. I found out in a support group for long-term care patients that what happened to me was common, though no one talks about it. Most people do not stay with a partner when they have a long-term illness. What does a relationship really mean then, if it is so easily thrown away when one of the people is in need?

I looked at statistics for how many people admitted to cheating too. The amount of people that admit to it is pretty high, and that’s just the ones who admit to it. The last straw was living in Asia where wives are meant to accept that their husbands fuck hookers. It’s not anything unusual- it’s just Thursday night.

In all this, the women are at the disadvantage. They are the ones who become less and less desirable as they age. They are the ones more shamed for cheating. They are the ones who are not allowed to go fuck hookers or go to strip clubs. More than all of that, they are the ones more likely to stick by their partner through thick and thin because they are natural care-givers. In all these things, women have no power.

At first it wasn’t a conscious thought; rather just a thing I did. Now that I have had time to think it over, I realize I wanted POWER. I wanted to be the one in control and I never wanted anyone to make me feel powerless or undesirable again. The obvious solution in my mind was to keep a few men around at once (hence my relative scarcity would make me desirable) and to be a Dominatrix (so that everyone always did what I told them to.)

This is how I became what I now jokingly call “A Magically Delicious Super Slut.”

I am not at all ashamed of any of this, by the way. I don’t even have the common decency to think that “slut” is a shameful term. I am proud of it. I enjoy sex, and I will not be made to feel that I shouldn’t. I’ll not be made to feel like I am doing anything wrong. I realize I offend the morals of some- but in my estimation that is because their morals are patriarchal and wrong. I’m writing the morals for a matriarchal society, and you better watch out because they are going to threaten your cultural paradigm.