I am a very proud person. I admit that. And that’s why this isn’t an easy thing for me to talk about. I have put off writing this post, because I really didn’t want to. However, I guess it’s about time that I bite the bullet, so to speak.
Producing content takes time and energy. When I first started writing this blog ages ago, I knew it would take a lot of my time, but some friends of mine kind of pushed me into it.
Now that I am getting several hundred views a day and reaching a lot of people, I realize that maybe my friends were right and this was a good thing for me to do. If I have helped you, I am glad.
However, time is money. And so my husband sort of convinced me to put this little Paypal button on the left, hidden under the page list. It’s been there for about a month now, but again, I haven’t said anything because I am kind of proud and I am pretty embarrassed about it.
Anyway, there it is. I have a Paypal button. And if you read my blog and it helps you, maybe you could consider sparing me a few dollars? I quit my job to write full time (I am working on a trilogy of romance novels about a girl finding her way into the BDSM culture.) While I am working on these novels I have no income at all, and if my readers could chip in a little, that sure would be cool.
Also, when I am done with the series I will be looking into publishers, so if you know any literary agents who might be interested, please let me know. I know you need an agent to sell your books, and I know you need a publisher to reach a large audience. So, any tips or advice is appreciated.
Okay.
That’s enough of me being a shameless promotions whore. Come back next week for your regularly scheduled content. And thanks for reading.
First, even though I write about my husband and our poly relationship all the time, it seems like I still get people being surprised/upset when they find out that I am married. So just to clear that one up, I am still married, and social conventions are still dicks.
Though I haven’t been able to date much since I got stuck on Guam, I still think slut-shaming is wrong (and that’s one of my best posts in all my years blogging.)
I update my lists of people you should check out and books you should read all the time, so make sure to check those out if you are looking for resources. I even have a whole subcategory of just book reviews.
I have been meeting a lot of folks on Guam, and this has definitely led to some posts about how women are people and you need to talk to them like people, but also a lot of posts about helping people learn about kink.
All in all, it’s been a good year. I can’t believe it’s been so long since I started this blog just to amuse a friend who pestered me to share what I knew. He’s off in South America somewhere now with his wife, and for some reason, I am still writing.
Well, I guess I do it for those of you who read, since wordpress gets all the ad revenue and I don’t get a dime. No matter. Thanks for reading! Cheers to your 2016!
Two years ago a friend of mine told me that I should write a blog. I’m still not sure I have anything to say that anyone would care about, but the “stats” on my blog seem to suggest that people are reading, so I guess I’l just carry on writing.
I’d like to take this opportunity to remind you that I do take suggestions, comments, or criticism. And since some people aren’t comfortable leaving the things they want to say in the comment section, remember that I have an e-mail address: ladyvioletemail@gmail.com
I’m happy to write about any topic that I know about if you have questions, so remember to keep those questions coming.
Thanks for sticking with me the last two years, whoever you beautiful people are. It’s been fun, and I plan to continue.
I do try to get a post out once a week, though I’m doing a lot of travel this summer and moving countries again, so bear with me when I miss a post or two.
I’m super-excited to have just flown to Phoenix, Arizona for the 10th Anniversary of Arizona Fetish Prom put on by Horns and Halos Saturday May 24th. It was a really good time and I always love to be at Horns and Halos events.
James Bound of Horns and Halos
While we were there, my husband got his magnetic upgrade from Steve Haworth, so now we match! That was pretty exciting, since I absolutely love having mine!
Steve Haworth, putting in a magnet in his studio
I’m back in Oregon, but only for another 2 months. It’s almost time for my next adventure. I’ll be traveling in August with my husband, and then in September I will be moving to Guam.
Oregon has been fun. My host family has been lovely. It has really been a wonderful year.
However, a year is a long time to stay in one place, and it’s time to think about the future. The future will involve beaches. Warmer beaches than Oregon has to offer.
I have no idea how long I will be staying in Guam. If I like it, then it looks like I’ll stay the full two years that the husband is stationed there. If I don’t like it, then I may drop back in to South Korea for a bit to work as a teacher, or possibly another country like Taiwan or Thailand.
Hopefully, wherever I go, there will be lots of fun fetish things to experience and to write about. You can be assured that I will keep you updated.
First, Happy New Years! I hope 2014 is awesome for all of you.
It’s my 100th post on The Magically Delicious Super Slut. So today, I am going to talk about numbers.
Everyone knows that awkward question will find it’s way into conversation eventually when seeing someone new; “How many people have you slept with?”
And most people do not need to have a philosophical debate to answer this question. They casually say “8” or “35” and move on with their lives. Yay for them.
But I think it’s a philosophical question.
First, does being molested count? It’s not consensual. If a woman is to be shamed for the amount of people who have touched her naked body, it seems unfair to think being molested as a child should count against her.
Second, does being raped count into the numbers? Again, if it was against your will, why should it count? (And how many to add if you’re not sure?)
Third, does lesbian sex count? I mean, there doesn’t have to be penetration in lesbian sex (for boys who don’t know, the clitoris is not inside the vagina.) When you ask people to define sex, they often say being penetrated. But this excludes lesbians and would mean most of the women I slept with don’t count.
Last, does it really count if it’s at a sex club with a stranger? Oh I know you’ll say that this is a clear-cut yes and the only easy question here. But hear me out. I can tell you the first middle and last name of every single person I have ever loved. I KNOW when it counts. Sometimes. it absolutely means something and it absolutely matters.
I just don’t feel that way about sex clubs. As for example, in club desire, I once sat on a couch between two Korean men to share a glass of champagne with them. When they started kissing me, I could hardly object. The two of them kissed every inch of my body and took turns going down on me. Then they got distracted and I went back to my table. Does that count? They went down on me, which is the same as lesbian sex. So if lesbian sex counts then it should count. And yet it doesn’t feel at all like it does because at a sex club, a little licking and petting feels a lot like a handshake.
Casual. Meaningless.
So it’s not easy for me to answer the question of how many people I have had sex with, and I don’t think it’s easy for anyone who’s had a rough life or is adventurous.
But if you really want to know, the tally is hovering around 100 at the moment (so I have something in common with my blog!)
Note: Always use condoms or dental dams. Ask any repeat partner that you want to play with more intimately to provide an STD test. You may think it’s awkward, but they’ll actually appreciate it. If they get the test and it comes back positive, they can usually get treated since most STDs are treatable. So yay for that! If they get the test and it comes back negative, they can feel relieved that they know for sure that they are clean. So no, it’s not weird to ask for people to get tested before you sleep with them, or even go down on them.
I often get asked if I have ever had an STD. Yes I have. I had HPV, and a bacterial infection. Both were easily treatable with antibiotics. Both I got from people I was using condoms with because sometimes condoms slip off or break. An STD is not usually the end of the world as long as you get tested and treated before you have sex with anyone else. I’ve never have to make the “I might have given you…” phone call, but I do not envy people who have.
Safe. Sane. Consensual.
Oh, and if you want to laugh, watch this video: (Many people feel this way after talking to me.)
I was recently asked if I do workshops and lectures. In fact, I have and I do.
Usually, it’s for groups of people that I know or that I meet on Felife or at an event. However, if someone DID wish to contact me through my blog, I suppose I should tell you that I have an e-mail that you can use. It’s: ladyvioletemail@gmail.com
I would give out a phone number, but the internet has some strange kids on it sometimes, so I think it’s best if I leave it at an e-mail for now.
Taking a pet for a walk.
In my experience, a good workshop is about 10 people. I’ve done them on all kinds of topics from scene negotiation to flogging lessons to pegging.
Yes, I make handouts. Yes, I bring my own toys.
So let me know if you have questions, or if you are interested. Fees can be discussed along with what you’re hoping to learn. However please note: I do this in private homes. I will not do it on a stage for a large venue. I have done enough of that, and it’s frustrating because no one can talk or ask questions. It crosses the line from workshop to performance art, and I am not a performance artist.
If you’re not sure if what you’re looking for would be okay or not, just ask.
I used to have a magazine in my early 20’s and I have always been into promotions. I have helped bands and friends with small businesses and anyone doing something cool my whole life. I have earned myself the titled of “Shameless Promotions Whore,” which I am very proud of.
So I wanted to promote this blog.
I made a Facebook page, but it was hard! They only want real people on Facebook, and of course, I am not giving up any personal information, because this blog could ruin my professional career. While I have worked as a Dominatrix and I continue to be active in the BDSM community, I don’t use my real name at clubs. (I use a scene name instead.)
Actually, just a tangent: Everyone should use a scene name and try not to appear in pictures. There is no reason you can’t chose a normal name if you don’t want to be something like “Shadow” or “Rain.” You can have your scene name be “Kyle” or “Michelle.” It’s not about having an exotic name. It’s just about going by a different name than you would in your professional life.
Of course, the no pictures rule can get annoying sometimes. One of the huge issues I have when I move to a new scene is that I can’t prove that I have ever even been to a kink club before. This whole “pics or it didn’t happen” attitude doesn’t work when you throw private play parties where you don’t take pictures, and you go to private sex clubs where you have to lock your phone and everything else you have in a locker.
This can be a pain, HOWEVER, remember that there is a reason for it. Vanilla people are sometimes curious and sometimes okay with kink. But you can never predict how they will react, and sometimes they react very badly.
It’s pretty much the same thing as coming out as a atheist. That can loose you a job (though they will pretend it wasn’t over religion so that you can’t sue.) It can also loose you friends and family.
Kink is the same. You need to be careful who you tell.
With that in mind, I like Twitter because they don’t ask for your birthday or use facial recognition software on your pictures like Facebook does, (all very creepy!)
Anyway, if you have a Twitter, I’d love it if you followed me. It would help the cause of getting my little blog a bit more traffic, and I’d be much more inspired to write regularly if I had more than a few hundered readers. (No offense to the few hundred readers I DO have. You guys rock! But I’d love it if you told your friends about me.)
Thanks for listening to that rant. It was a bit long and rambling. Cheers from the Magically Delicious Super Slut!
magicallydelicioussuperslut 