Author Archives: magicallydelicioussuperslut

Portland

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ferns

My summer was full of travel in the form of road trips and overseas flights. I saw cool places, had sex with awesome people, and all-in-all it was a great summer.

However, it’s time to settle down. It’s time to pick a place and stay for awhile. I’m pulling up a patch of the universe and calling it home. And that patch of the Universe is Portland, Oregon in the USA.

forest

I’ve only just arrived. I haven’t had time to go to a munch yet or check out one of the many sex clubs that Portland is meant to have. Hell, I have barely had the chance to hang my clothes up in my new closet!

If you are from Portland or you are living there now, please feel free to suggest cool places and cool things to do. I am all ears.

waterfall

After some very tropical weather in Korea and a terrible dry heat in the desert, I admit that I this 70 degree weather in Portland is all I can think about right now. It’s so fucking pretty outside that I can hardly stand it!

So my first adventures out of the house where to Oxbow Park and Eagle Creek, and various other forest trips.

But if you just give me a week or two to enjoy the amazing weather, I promise to get serious about meeting the folks in the kink scene here.

close-up-fern

I’ll get to the kink scene right after this next hiking trail…

Social Conventions Are Dicks

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The traditional kiss picture

The traditional kiss picture

Until I got married, I had no idea how deeply the traditions surrounding marriage were rooted in everyone’s minds. I have spent most of my life in an alternative culture, and I was so very unprepared for how my vanilla friends, (and even some of my kink friends), reacted to the news that I was signing a piece of paper which they all seem to consider wildly significant.

My attempts to explain why I felt so different were wordy and sounded pompous.  Perhaps I can narrow it down in writing.

I hate this tradition

I hate this tradition

The first thing that was hard to get a handle on was all the tradition. It seems that every single woman I know has dreamed of someday wearing a white dress. I have not had this dream. Worse, I didn’t know that my lack of enthusiasm about a dress would actually upset people. Clearly, I had NO idea what a big deal wedding dresses were. (Maybe I’m an asshole for wearing black slacks and a T-shirt to my wedding. Maybe not. But I think that decision is up to me and my husband.)

I hate the cake in the face tradition too. I don’t care how old it is or why it started. I don’t need a cake, and I don’t need a cake shoved in my face.

And all the words that people usually speak at ceremonies make me nuts, like: The wife promises to love, honor, and obey her husband. Really? Obey? I think not.

All the social conversions surrounding marriage, right down to the idea that you need a public ceremony ALL piss me off.

Another example of my problem with stereotypes is the confusion about how a D/S relationship and a marriage can be going on at the same time. In an effort to understand the concept, my vanilla friends and some of my kinky ones took to calling Pet “the Wife.”

Now first of all, I don’t like how “wife” means the weaker person who is the maker of sandwiches and the bringer of beer. This is an awful and old stereotype that I would really like for society to move past.

In addition, Pet and I are on 100% even footing when we are not doing a scene. I would never ask him to make me a sandwich, and he would never ask me to make him one. We respect each other and we recognize each other as equals. Look; what I’m saying is that it evens out and there is no power dynamic between us outside of scenes. So basically, allowing that I think “the wife” meaning the submissive one is bullshit, the fact is that neither of us is “the wife.”

Again, social conventions are dicks.

And of course; rings

And of course; rings

This next bit will probably offend all the girls. Feel free to stop reading now, so as to avoid the urge to do angry things to me.

<rant>

Diamonds are a dick-measuring contest for girls. They all look at each other’s rock to see who has the bigger bit of shiny on their finger, and I hate this.

First, I don’t do the dick-measuring thing. I am not so insecure that I need to compare myself to someone else. I live up to my own standards and no one else gets a say in my value as a human.

Why it bugs me even more is because women do not buy themselves these rings. They actually base their self-worth on what they got someone else to buy them. Think about how awful that is for just a second! The measure of yourself is not your own ability to produce and contribute. The measure of yourself (if you are female) is meant to be the amount you can force someone else to value you at. An engagement ring is asking someone to assign worth in money to you as a person.

</rant>

I am sorry, female readers. I know that you’re going to want to tell me that it’s meant to be a sign of love and devotion and that if you really loved someone, even a small diamond would make you happy. I do see that side of it; but I think it is largely overshadowed by more negative things.

sex-starved-marriage-2

Oh, and the number one thing that pissed me off about getting married: The assumptions about sex.

I heard so much “Oh, your best sex is behind you now” teasing from people. And look, if you think that’s funny- you’re wrong. There is nothing funny about associating the concept of marriage with the idea of bad sex. It’s not okay, and you all need to stop that shit right now. I will continue to have sex with who I like, and with my husband. And I will LOVE it, if for no other reason than to spite the people who told me that good sex doesn’t happen within the confines of a marriage.

We’re still going to be poly, as we have always been. We’ll fall in and out of love with people, as we always have. And we’ll have lots of awesome sex with each other, too. I see no reason this should ever change. And don’t tell me things get stale in the bedroom after so many years. I have a boy I have kept around for almost 15 years now, and I have never gotten tired of fucking him. Seriously, every time I know I am going to see him I look forward to the sex. If anything, it has gotten better and better as we’ve gotten to know each other more and more.
So the point is this:

This is just my opinion, but I think marriage should be whatever you want it to be. You negotiate the terms for yourselves, and you create what kind of affiliation you want. I think every marriage should be free of past stereotypes and traditional expectations.

I got married. I’m glad I did it and I love my husband. But the process itself was a nightmare. I really wish society as a whole could agree to give this marriage thing a big makeover. Let’s not force others to do it the way we think it’s done, or the way we saw it in a movie. Let’s respect everyone’s rights to make their own traditions and their own rules about what a marriage is.

The Magical Slut Turns One

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cake

Well kinky kiddos, it’s been one year since I started The Magically Delicious Super Slut. I hope I’ve provided some insight or entertainment over the last year. At the very least, I hope I have provided some useful erotica stories to give you crazy kids ideas. I’m always fond of saying that a wise person keeps their mouth shut as often as possible, and writing this blog went against every instinct I had. But, some people told me I should do it, and over time, others have convinced me it’s a worthwhile endeavor.

So as of now, I am going to consider this experiment a success, and I will keep writing kinky stories and tips and sharing things with you.

It just so happens that it is also my real-life birthday (as I started the blog last year around my birthday time.) So happy birthday to my blog, and happy birthday to me. Here’s to another great year!

The Birthday Hat is what made me HAVE to post this!

The Birthday Hat is what made me HAVE to post this!

A Long Time Ago, in a Galaxy Far Far Away…

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From the movie "The Craft," here's a 90's Goth girl, just like I was.

From the movie “The Craft,” here’s a 90’s Goth girl, just like I was.

I have been kinky for as long as I can remember. I recently got back in touch with a few old play partners, and it got me thinking about the years I spent messing around before I figured out who I was. There was a lot of years of blind experimentation and trial and error. I wish the internet had been around more when I was young! If I could have read the blogs of a Dominatrix or two it would have saved me so much time! Even if I could have just seen some of the porn from kink.com or something…

Anyway, I thought I’d do a timeline of some of the moments in my sexual history that were significant.

1986: I am five years old and I figure out how to masturbate. Best. Discovery. Ever. BUT I don’t know anything about sex  yet, so I do it thinking about pain. I don’t know why. Maybe I was always kinky, or maybe I became kinky because of this. No idea. I just remember touching myself before kindergarten and thinking about being hit. (Later I totally had sexy fantasies about being assimilated by The Borg, but I think I’m the only one.)

1993: I have sex with my first girl, and I love it. She is sweet and blonde and she is the classic good girl. I am already smoking pot and wearing black and I am her dirty little secret. We are too young to have sex toys, but we do some pretty kinky stuff with actual toys. (It’s so much harder to figure out how to do it when you start with same-sex experiments at a young age!)

1997: I am 16 years old and dating a 27-year-old we’ll call Mr. Creepy. He had a thing for tying up underage girls and then using all kinds of weird tools on them. I was homeless and he let me stay with him, but he was terrifying and I still don’t want to talk about the shit he did to me. I made peace with him many years later, writing letters to him in prison. It helped me to deal with what happened. But it’s just not stuff I like to talk about.

1999: I am introduced to Madam Tracy’s House of Pain by a friend at college. I signed an agreement, so I don’t really talk about it. But, it was enlightening.

2000: I am 19 and the boy I am with likes it when I keep my nails filed into points, so I can tear the skin from his back in chunks while we fuck. After we are done, I carefully clean each wound with rubbing alcohol while he writhes in pain, and then I bandage them. I think the aftercare was his favorite part. While I was a little put-off when he first asked me to do this to him, it got to seem sexy after awhile to inflict pain like that.

2001: I am 20 years old and dating Mr. Charming. He is a beautiful Goth boy with Romance Novel hair falling in perfect ringlet curls, who tells me I am pretty and tries to wake me up inside. We use his martial arts belts to tie each other up and we play with the idea of pain. He loves to be cut, and hit, and he likes to hold me down when we have sex, while I struggle. I guess this is my first role play partner outside of a dungeon and I like it.

2002: I am 21 and I just don’t give a fuck. I am dating too many people to keep track of, getting my stuff thrown off of balconies, and trying all the things. I am totally known as the girl who will do ass-to-mouth and who slurps cum like a porn star.

From when I learned to masturbate to when I was 21 years old, I was really just experimenting with everything. Those were the years when I had no idea what I was doing and I was just playing around and trying to figure out who I was and what I liked. It was much harder back then, because computers were really expensive and I was really poor, and the internet didn’t have as much easy-to-access information on kink. Even when I COULD get someone to let me use it for a few minutes, I could never find what I was looking for.

I had no online community to ask questions of, and the actual community was hard to find and full of secretive people who acted like the sex they had was SUCH a big deal. I remember one APEX meeting  when I was really little where I gave up and walked out because everyone seemed too pretentious to my young self and I just couldn’t stand it anymore. If you weren’t IN the community yet and you wanted to get into it, they made it hard and they acted exclusionary.

I think young people today don’t realize how much harder it was 15 years ago to get into the kink community. We were in the shadows then, and none of us could have dreamed of a novel (even a shitty one like 50 Shades of Grey) being popular in the main stream. Now, with books like S&M 101 and communities like the one on reddit to use as resources, it’s so easy to learn all the things that I had to come by the hard way!

As I approach another birthday in my 30’s, I want to take a moment to think about how grateful I am that the world has changed, and how much I hope it keeps moving in the right direction. Tolerance has never been more common, and I hope it will just continue to improve!

You’re Pretty; Deal With It!

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images

I have slept with several women lately, and talked to many more. I know I have said before that I am kind of a guy, but this fact is never more apparent to me then when I spend a lot of time around women.

For a minute, allow me to speak as the guy I am, and also to use a few generalizations.

Ladies; for the most part, guys don’t see your flaws. I know you think we can see that zit under your make-up or the stretch marks on your thighs, but we really kind of tune that stuff out. We’re not looking at you the way YOU look at you, seeing every imperfection. If you’re a little chubby, we appreciate having something to grab on to. If you’re really skinny, we’ll appreciate your ribs. And for the love of all the gods please believe me when I say; your boobs are perfect, because they are boobs and you let us touch them. We don’t care what size your nipples are. We don’t care if you think they are too big or too small or whatever. I slept with a girl with a third nipple and it didn’t freak me out in the slightest.

Before you argue with me, please take into account something my friend always says: “Sex it’s like pizza. Even if it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.”

I think a lot of times you forget to look at it from a guys’ point of view, so let me help you with that. Guys are the ones who are supposed to do ALL the work in society’s mind. This may be changing. This may become more even with time. I’m not saying it SHOULD be the way it is. I’m just saying, lots of girls won’t walk up and talk to a guy. They expect the guy to ask for their number. And lots of girls expect guys to pay for dates. I’m in Korea right now, where it is customary for a man to take his girlfriend shopping and buy her expensive gifts. And the narrative in society tells us that we do these things for sex.

Now wait! Don’t scream about how all guys want is sex and you’re sick of it. I didn’t say that IS all guys want. I said the narrative in society tells a man he must ask for your number, pay for dates, and initiate sex because it is his job. I am not saying this is true or right. I’m just saying it’s what men are programmed by the world to think, and even people who overcome their programming can still hear the echoes of it in the back of their mind.

So if you’ll just accept that men bear the burden of asking for your number and taking you places, then maybe you can start to see how much more stressful dating is for a man. Even if you try to break this programming and split a check once in awhile, there is always going to be the one girl that calls you cheap for it.

I recently took a girl out. I have no job. I am broke as a joke. And she didn’t ASK me to pay for the meal. But I felt like I had to and so I did. It’s just in my head that I am meant to do that, and I don’t care how stupid it is. I’m the Domme. I’m the alpha. It’s my job to take care of the women I date. I can’t get this out of my head, no matter how modern I am.

Now the other thing is that, after all the dating and such, it eventually comes down to sex. Women do not often initiate sex. They’re pretty shy and worried about if the guy really likes them or not and all this stuff, so they tend to wait and follow the lead of the man.

So put yourself in a man’s shoes. Imagine how many times he’s asked for a phone number and been told to fuck off. Imagine how many dates he’s paid for and how many ideas for dates he’s had to come up with. And of course, don’t forget that there is that pressure to always be horny and want sex, while women are always supposed to be shy and act like they don’t want it. Girls do not often admit to being sexual beings, because society has taught them that is they do, they will be shamed as a slut.

So get through all that garbage to the moment that you finally see a girl naked. You WORKED for that. You took chances for that and you struggled to get to this moment. And trust me, it doesn’t matter if her nipples are big or small or fucking inverted for all I care; you’re excited to see them and touch them! It doesn’t matter if her labia are big or small or if her clit is in a weird spot. It doesn’t matter if she’s skinny or chubby or has birth marks.

Ladies; you are beautiful! And according to the social dialogue that everyone is taught; you are a prize to be struggle and fought for. We will kiss every inch of your soft skin and lick you all over and be excited as hell that you let us do stuff to you, and we will not be critical of your body like you are. I promise.

I know I’ll catch shit for this. I know there will be arguments that not all guys are like that or not all girls are like that. And I do know that this isn’t 100% accurate every time.

Just realize that when you see a girl walking down the street and you think “She shouldn’t wear short shorts with an ass like that” or “Why would she wear that shirt with those shoes” that your internal dialogue is very different from that of a man. While you measure yourself up against her and criticize her hair, her makeup, and her clothes, realize that picking apart those things is NOT something men do.

In the same situation, here is what a guy is probably thinking: “I’d hit that.”

And that’s all there is to that.

I’ll say it every day if I have to. You are beautiful. All of you. Your boobs are great. Your pussy is awesome. Your hair smells nice and your clothes are pretty. If you really want to know what a guy is thinking when you think you look fat or greasy or sweaty or gross; he’s probably thinking that you’re hot. Deal with it.

And because it seems to fit here, an old favorite: (Because honestly girls: Doesn’t matter; had sex!)

On The Road Again

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Leaving Arizona

Leaving Arizona

 

I find myself in a situation where I will be doing a lot of traveling in the near future. I may go to Colorado, I may go to Georgia, and I will definitely be going to Seattle and Portland.

Because of this, I am not 100% positive that I’ll be able to write posts. I can’t be sure of my time/internet access while I am on the road. So I will do my best to keep up on the blog, but I may not post much between now and the middle of July.

I promise that once things settle down, I will write out all my exciting adventures! Take care and remember: Safe, sane, and consensual sex is the best!

A visit here and maybe I few other spots.

A visit here and maybe I few other spots.

 

Spanking Tips

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My paddle

My paddle

It was brought to my attention during a recent weekend trip that I need to go over some basics.

Today I will go over the basics of spankings.

Now of course, you can do whatever it is that you prefer and my advice is meant only as advice, and nothing more. I just want to give you some tips, and you can take them or leave them.

First, remember that as a good Dom, everything you do must be done with your submissive in mind. You do not want them to have a bad experience. So when you are planing a scene, you should look at it from their point of view.

I have no idea what situation you will have your submissive in when you decide to spank them. Perhaps they will be over your knee, bent over a couch, or bound and gagged. The situation isn’t important.

What is important is not to go nuts right away. Start light, to learn what your submissive can tolerate. Perhaps caress them a little, smack them lightly at first, and see how they react. You don’t want to start with a hard smack, because this will immediately put them into a defensive and uncomfortable mindset.

I tend to start with a few light taps, and slowly build into harder and harder hits. I try to vary where I hit my submissive, so I don’t make one spot too raw too quickly.

As you get to know a submissive better, you can learn more about what they enjoy. After a scene, perhaps your sub will tell you that you hit them too hard and they didn’t like it. Maybe they’ll say they like it harder. Maybe they’ll challenge you to leave them black and blue and unable to sit down. That has happened to me.

Just remember that it’s always polite to start out slow and build up over time. And don’t forget aftercare! If you’re into S&M, you need to learn to talk about sex. That’s just the way it is. You can do it laying together, sitting down over tea, or however is most comfortable for you. Just make sure to get feedback.

 

Poly Couples

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I often meet people who are skeptical about poly-amorous relationships. They tell me no relationship is really happy if the people in it sleep with other people. They are deeply rooted in a cultural stereotype that monogamy is the  only path to a happy relationship.  Videos like the one above (Carrie Underwood- Before He Cheats) sell an idea that sleeping with more than one person is grounds to destroy property and act irrationally. TV shows and movies all sell the same cultural stereotype, and I have yet to see a portrayal of a poly couple that was actually happy.

Now, on this blog I have defended monogamy in the past. I see nothing wrong with it, and I know that it is right for some people. I respect monogamous relationships, and I don’t sleep with people who are in monogamous relationships.

However, I now feel compelled to defend open relationships. This is a post I have been driven to, by a great many people who tell me that I am not really happy. They stand outside my life, and the judge things they cannot possibly understand. And they tell me that I am not really happy with my choices. Because of this, I have finally been forced into a post I never wanted to write, about why I choose not to be monogamous.

First, let me start by saying that I have tried and succeeded at having a monogamous relationship. It lasted for several years. I never cheated once, though I wanted to and often tried to convince him to have threesomes with me and other girls (which he always refused.) So, it’s not like I am just a whore who can’t walk 10 feet without tripping and landing on a penis. I am an evolved human who can control my baser instincts if I must.

Second, I am bisexual. So for me, being monogamous means giving up either girls, or boys. This is hard for me, as I really enjoy both. I am passionate about women in a way I can’t be with men. I fall for them. I am the kind of person who buys flowers and writes poems and tells them that they are beautiful every single day. I love women. But women are complicated. They have several emotions at once, which often keeps them from just wanting to have simple, uncomplicated sex. I like men for their ability to ignore emotions and just have a good time. I also like them for their loyalty. I do not like to have to choose one or the other, when I adore both so much!

And third, I like variety. Yes, you can do many different things with the same person. You can role play and switch around your BDSM roles. You can wear costumes and play parts and you can choose to look them in the eye or not. I do get that. And I am not discounting the ability to make the same person continue to be interesting after a lot of years of sex with them. That is a real thing. However, it’s not just about sex for me. It’s a psychological thing. I like the way different people react to me. I am so in love with the feeling of people falling in love with me. I am seduced by the act of seduction. I love new experiences through the eyes of new people.

So these are my reasons for being unwilling to enter into a monogamous relationship any longer. I used to allow people to make me feel guilty about these things. I used to let them push me into feeling like I was somehow wrong inside, and that my way of thinking wasn’t okay. But I don’t let people push me around anymore.

I am currently in several relationships. Some are just sexual. Three involve real feelings, and are real relationships complete with love and trust. Each relationship I am in is very important to me. I value each of the people who let me share a part of their lives, and I make sure to show them in every way I can that they mean a great deal to me.

The relationship that means the most to me is with my collared Pet. That is because I love to create cool experiences for people, and I love how adventurous Pet is. He will try anything to impress me, and he usually has fun. I really love open-minded people. And Pet is more than open-minded. He’s excited to be put in situations, even if he may not like them, because he wants to try things before deciding he doesn’t like them. And he’s great to share girls with because he doesn’t get jealous or make things complicated.

Now, I have been told that if we can so casually sleep with other people, it means we don’t love each other. I have tried to be understanding of why people say this, but really it’s just getting frustrating at this point. I love Pet passionately. I love the way he thinks, I love the way he acts, I love his sense of humor, and I love his body. There isn’t anything about him that doesn’t make me swoon. And Pet loves me, too. Our other relationships don’t diminish this in any way, and they never have. (We have always been Poly.)

I didn’t want to write this post. I just got tired of being told by people who don’t understand my relationship that it isn’t a valid life choice. My life choices are my own, and I will never judge you. Please afford me the same courtesy.

Fetish Prom 2013 in Phoenix Arizona

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Prom 2013 CoverPhoto

Prom 2013 CoverPhoto

 

So I went to a Horns and Halos event over the weekend. It was Fetish Prom 2013. I have to say, it was a really killer party. One of my very favorite bands, Hardwire, played the prom. And the headliner was a band called Hanzel and Gretyl. I hadn’t heard of them before, but they were pretty good. There were performances by all kinds of cool people, like Defenz Mechanism. There was so much good stuff that it’s a little hard to describe it all. I guess that’s the best way to really describe a prom- it’s sensory overload of kink.

Defenz Mechanism

Defenz Mechanism

 

I loved the vendor section with so many whips and chains to look at. The Violet Wand demos amused me to no end, since I brought my favorite pet and he loves electricity. The venue was comfortable, though I prefer indoor events. Club 910 Live was not the best location ever, but it wasn’t bad. The crowd was full of beautiful people, and there were even suspensions by Steve Hayworth.

Girl in a cage

Girl in a cage

When people in other countries or even other scenes outside of Arizona ask me to describe a Fetish Prom as I know it, the best I can do is this:

Whatever your fetish is, you will get to see some of it at Prom. People in cages, people suspended by hooks, people being beaten, music, strippers, and a whole lot of amazing costumes and outfits. A Fetish Prom is a chance to check out all the aspects of the fetish community and see what you like. It’s also the Disneyland of kink, because you can try things. Pet got put in a cage, hit on stage, electrocuted, and many other things. He ran around like a kid in a candy store trying everything, which is exactly what Prom is for.

Beatings on the side stage

Beatings on the side stage

I have never seen anything like Arizona Fetish proms anywhere else. I have seen wonderful gathers of cool people, and been to great munches and dungeon parties and all kinds of things. There is a lot of great kink stuff out there in the world. But Prom is something different. It’s huge. It’s over-the-top, and it’s amazing. I won’t even get into the after party here. That’s a whole other story. For now, I just want to thank James Bound and all of the good guys at Horns and Halos for another great night of crazy, kinky fun!

dancing

 

Picking Out A Title

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I'm going ti say she looks like a pet

She Looks Like A Pet

 

I got asked recently how I choose to call my pet by the title of “pet.” This got me thinking about how hard it can be to define a relationship in the BDSM community. So, I guess I’m going to talk a little about that.

First, it’s really something you should talk about with the person you have the relationship with. Ergo, my blog can only do so much. I guess just bare that in mind, okay?

Now then, there are lots of different titles and they can mean different things to different people. I know that in some scenes, “pet” would mean something different than it does to me and my pet. Keep in mind that BDSM terms are something that change over time, and vary from scene to scene. What someone in Korea calls a pet might not be what someone in Thailand thinks a pet is.

That said, it seems to me that most relationships I come across have one person who is clearly more Dominant, and one person who is clearly more Submissive. So, in a wider sense, those terms are how one starts to define a BDSM relationship.

Beyond that, there are sub-categories that a relationship could fit into. Perhaps a Dominant controls every aspect of the Submissives’ life. In that case, the submissive might be better defined as a slave. Or perhaps they simply look out for them, but never tell them what to do. Then they might be less of a Dom and more of a Protector. In my case, I chose “pet,” even though we do not engage in pet play. (I don’t have a tail butt plug for him and he doesn’t crawl around on the floor much.) I feel it defines the relationship well because he is so much younger that I feel like he’s someone I have to take care of, as you would a pet. And besides, he loves to lay with his head in my lap and have his hair played with.

In any case, I feel like the terms you use to define a relationship are largely subjective. That can make it particularly complicated when you want to define your relationship for others. If  you need help, it always helps to bring it up at a munch (fetlife event for kinksters) and see what people in your local scene tend to use.

Also, leather families can play a role in finding a name. 

The concept behind a leather family is that you’ll have a group of kinksters that are all sort of bonded together in some way. Often, it will spring from one relationship with a poly couple, who then have pets who have other significant others. As the web grows, some people are more senior and some are less, and so they end up forming a hierarchy that is usually referred to as a leather family.

So in such a situation, the family often helps to define terms. 

I really terms for submissives like Pet, Slave, and Whore. And for me, I like Mistress, Master, or Godess for me. 

But be inventive! You can use pre-defined roles that exist when you start out, but over time, you will probably find a definition for each relationship you have that suits it.