The two most important things in any relationship are: Communication and Keeping it Fresh.

Communication- It’s very important to talk about what you want, to be honest, and to be direct. Subtle hints and innuendo can be misunderstood or missed altogether. How many movies and TV shows involve the characters doing stupid things because they didn’t talk? And you scream at the screen: “Talk to each other!” Well, you need to talk to each other, too. Don’t assume your partner understands.

Keeping it Fresh- I don’t care how good the sex is in the start. You’ll get bored. Anyone would get bored. Even if you’re meant to be and you’re the perfect match. Any reasonable human gets bored. That’s why it’s crucial to try new things. It’s also very important to listen to your partner when they ask to try something new, and to make every effort to do it (within reason).

Valentines Day is the perfect excuse to talk about things you want to try, and do some experimentation. After all, going out on a day when every single couple is also trying to go out leads to long waits and poorly prepared meals. Why go out? Stay in, and celebrate with a candlelight conversation and then trying something new.

Remember to do your research. If you’re going to try butt stuff, make sure you know how to safely douche beforehand so you don’t end up getting pink eye or some nasty infection. If you’re going to try shibari, make sure you know how to do it without causing nerve damage. Whatever you want to try, read up -from reliable sources- to make sure you try it safely.

If you plan to role play to spice things up, remember to try masks, different clothes, and other props to help convince yourself. Any kinky person knows: Headspace is important. Do everything you can to get yourself into the right headspace. You’ll have a better time if you believe.

Happy Valentines Day my fellow kinky people!